***I have been meaning to write a blog post for some time now. I also wanted to write a nice letter to Maegan. I figured I would do both at the same time!
This is quite a journey we’re on. I’d lived a pretty uneventful life up until meeting you, so I like to think that the universe is just evening itself out with all this cancer nonsense. I may not know when this part of our journey will end, but I do know how it will end: with us still being madly, crazy, in love. I hope that day is far off in the future, but cancer has forced me to take inventory of what I can and cannot control.
I have so many things to be thankful for that I feel like I should spend the rest of my life telling people, “Thank You.” I’m grateful that I’m married to a strong, brave, woman who is doing everything she can to get well. I’m thankful for your love. I’m thankful for your patience with me, as I know I’m not always what you need me to be. I’m thankful for the wonderful community you’ve cultivated for the last 27 years just by being you. The love you’ve given people has boomeranged back to you during this trying time.
There are many things I wanted to do and be after you were diagnosed. I wanted to be at every appointment, every consult, every chemo and know everything there is to know about your cancer. Unfortunately, I fell well short of all of these goals. I had to work instead of go to most of your appointments. I stayed in Waco while you traveled to Austin midweek to get your chemo. I knew that if something were to happen to you, I’d look back sadly at the missed opportunities to be with you and not with joy at providing income for our family (Basically I’m saying I need you to beat this so I don’t look back and feel like a jackass). But seriously, I hope you know that everything I did was to support us, and that I would have rather been sitting right next to you holding your hand.
I don’t want to ramble too long, but I wanted to finish with saying that I love you. I love our family (people are probably hoping there’s a picture of Wedge in here somewhere. Maybe there will be; maybe there won’t.) I love what we’re creating and still feel it’s a privilege not only to love you, but to get to help take care of you during this process. I treasure your love above everything else, and will work every day to remind you why you chose me.